Don't break anybody's heart，they have only one。break their bones，they have 206。

there ' s always that one person that pisses you off，no matter what they do or say .

I keep my room messy so that if someone tries to kill me，they'll trip over something and die .

the only thing I ' ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them .

people say love is the best feeling . but I think finding a toilet when you are having diarrhea is better。

imagine a mirror that could reveal your personality，would you dare look？

Why do people say'grow some balls 'Balls are weak and sensitive！If you really wanna get tough，grow a vagina！Those things take a pounding！

The less you give a fuck，the happier you'll be。

you can ' t always control who walks into your life.but you can control which window you throw them out of .

dont think of yourself as an ugly person . think of yourself as a beautiful monkey。

winners are not people who never fail but people who never quit。

there comes a point where you have to realize that you ' ll never be good enough for some people，but that's not your problem .

I realize that homor isn ' t for everyone . it ' s only for people who want to have fun，enjoy life，and feel alive。

a relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service，and what do you do with a phone with no service？You play games。

why isn ' t my life like a situation comedy？

I love you because we hate the same stuff。

don ' t make me mad then tell me to calm down . that ' s like shooting some one then telling them to not bleed .

I wish I could lose weight as easy as I lose my keys，pen，cell phone，my temper，and even my mind。

To be old and wise，you must first have to be young and stupid。

I'm not perfect，but I ' m better than your ex and gonna be better than your next .